I read an article the other day in Parent's magazine for January of 2011 that has disturbed me tremendously!! The article talked about how children today are exhibiting signs of eating disorders at the age of 6 or 7! WHAT!!!! The main girl in the article was 7 I believe, and she would withhold foods that she did not consider "healthy", she wouldn't eat ice cream or any types of treats and she would exercise for large amounts of time. It was estimated that she was consuming only 700 calories a day when her body probably needed 3 times that amount!
Being someone that has dealt with an eating disorder since the time I was 13 I found this extremely sad. I remember the routines I used to go through in order to eat and what my nightly regimen was for sit ups and exercises. I was obsessed with what I ate and what I looked like. I couldn't walk past a mirror without criticizing something or finding some sort of flaw. To hear this starting at the age of 6 truly disturbs me!! Children shouldn't be worrying about that stuff - they should be more worried about what game to play next!
Where does this stem from? Have we become a society so obsessed that we only live in a "healthy" or "non-healthy" judged world? Are we as parents giving verbal cues to our children that lead them down this path? I have a 2 and a half year old and am expecting another baby this coming summer and I'm deeply saddened by this. I want to look closer at my own actions and make sure that I guide my own children down the right path. I know for me I have to stop the negative self talk - I never want my daughter to hear me say "I'm on a diet" or "Mommy can't wear this because she looks fat" - part of this starts with our own actions and beliefs!!
We have to find the happy middle ground with this because our futures depend on it! It's about creating the understanding that we as individuals are not characterized by what this outer shell is, we are more than that. We need to re write our definitions of ourselves to talk about our kind, caring, smart, generous sides - not what size pants we wear! Yet, unless we stand up to media and societal pressures things will honestly only get worse before they get better! We as parents also have to learn to believe in ourselves!! It starts with US!!
I've been working really hard at finding my own belief in myself and this wonderful body that I should be so fortunate to have! Please...be kind to yourselves - you never know what impressionable young ears might hear you!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
A Wasted Emotion!!
GUILT!!
Who doesn't feel that twinge of it every now and again? What Mom out there doesn't feel the tug of guilt as you move through her daily life? Do you eat something and feel guilty? Do you read a book and feel guilty because you should be doing something else? Do you take a nap maybe or get a massage and feel guilty? It's everywhere you look this silly emotion of guilt haunting us!
It's one of those emotions that I struggle with on a daily basis! It probably is the one thing that keeps me from meeting a lot of my goals. I probably spend more time worrying, and thinking about feeling guilty than any human should!
So what exactly do you do about it? There are people in this world who don't seem to let anything or anyone bother them? How does that happen? How do you let things roll off your shoulders and keep moving forward?
I think it's a matter or really analyzing the trigger for guilt and determining if it's even worth it? I feel like we as a species spend so much time wasted on feeling guilty when we could/should just be enjoying our life. So what if you eat a piece of candy? Is feeling guilty going to make you feel any better? NOPE!! Rather sit back and figure out why you ate it? Maybe you just felt like you should - well then rejoice in that candy!! Truly enjoy it and don't feel guilty about it!
We have to stop thinking so much about what society and others want us to do and rather what we want to do! What feels good for you and for your family. At the end of the day my father used to always tell me this, "If you can look yourself in the mirror then there is nothing to worry about"!!
I spend so much time out of life worrying about what others think and feel that it honestly destroys me. I feel guilty that I live in Florida while most of my family lives far away, I feel guilty that I haven't seen my best friend in almost a year and that we no longer talk on the phone for hours at a time, I feel guilty that at night I'm tired and have to go to sleep at 8:30 instead of spending time with my husband! I feel guilty that I'm not able to spread myself so thin I can make everyone happy!!! But like I said earlier - guilt is a terrible wasted emotion!!
I no longer want to feel guilty for things that are beyond my control. If you don't like it....too bad!! I have to live for myself and for my family and make the decisions that suit us!!! Life as I have said before is way too short and too precious to sit back and let such a silly emotion as guilt run it!
Here's to not letting guilt riddle our lives!!!
S.
Who doesn't feel that twinge of it every now and again? What Mom out there doesn't feel the tug of guilt as you move through her daily life? Do you eat something and feel guilty? Do you read a book and feel guilty because you should be doing something else? Do you take a nap maybe or get a massage and feel guilty? It's everywhere you look this silly emotion of guilt haunting us!
It's one of those emotions that I struggle with on a daily basis! It probably is the one thing that keeps me from meeting a lot of my goals. I probably spend more time worrying, and thinking about feeling guilty than any human should!
So what exactly do you do about it? There are people in this world who don't seem to let anything or anyone bother them? How does that happen? How do you let things roll off your shoulders and keep moving forward?
I think it's a matter or really analyzing the trigger for guilt and determining if it's even worth it? I feel like we as a species spend so much time wasted on feeling guilty when we could/should just be enjoying our life. So what if you eat a piece of candy? Is feeling guilty going to make you feel any better? NOPE!! Rather sit back and figure out why you ate it? Maybe you just felt like you should - well then rejoice in that candy!! Truly enjoy it and don't feel guilty about it!
We have to stop thinking so much about what society and others want us to do and rather what we want to do! What feels good for you and for your family. At the end of the day my father used to always tell me this, "If you can look yourself in the mirror then there is nothing to worry about"!!
I spend so much time out of life worrying about what others think and feel that it honestly destroys me. I feel guilty that I live in Florida while most of my family lives far away, I feel guilty that I haven't seen my best friend in almost a year and that we no longer talk on the phone for hours at a time, I feel guilty that at night I'm tired and have to go to sleep at 8:30 instead of spending time with my husband! I feel guilty that I'm not able to spread myself so thin I can make everyone happy!!! But like I said earlier - guilt is a terrible wasted emotion!!
I no longer want to feel guilty for things that are beyond my control. If you don't like it....too bad!! I have to live for myself and for my family and make the decisions that suit us!!! Life as I have said before is way too short and too precious to sit back and let such a silly emotion as guilt run it!
Here's to not letting guilt riddle our lives!!!
S.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Two tiny powerful words.....
I'm not talking about any vulgar words - but actually I'm talking about two little words that I have observed my 2 year old saying a lot lately "I can't"! For her it's her natural struggles with life and the words slip out of her mouth so easily because she gets frustrated. Today for some reason these two powerful and destructive words really hit me! It starts so young - this self doubt - no I realize my daughter doesn't know that but I became aware and am more conscious of the fact that I myself have to be the best teacher, coach, and mentor for her. I need to be the one that flushes "I Can't" out of my own vocabulary so that she too can flush it out of her own!
Why do these tiny little words roll off our tongue so easily? Why are we so quick to throw those words out? Sometimes I catch myself saying it when I'm doing a difficult workout, or just trying to manage all I have to do in a day! Yet, I realize that they are words that truly demotivate each of us. We begin to doubt ourselves and believe in those words. If you allow them, they actually start to become an immediate reaction to events. I have never thought of myself as someone that is willing and ready to quit easily but yet I do! Everytime I tell myself "I can't" I'm giving up!! I'm giving up on myself and allowing fear to step into the picture.
YES I CAN!! We all can!! Sure maybe we won't be perfect or maybe we have to adjust our strategy a little but we can do anything we put our minds too. That's the amazing thing - that sponging stuff that resides inside our head is amazingly powerful. More powerful than we give our self credit for. However, we control it! Whether we think positive or negative about ourselves or the activity we are performing is all up to us! It's not easy, I'm not going to sit here and say any of this is - I struggle every single day but then I remember why I'm here writing this blog! I'm not alone in this feeling and I know I want to change!!
I am going to challenge myself to stop those 2 powerful words....I banish "I can't" from my vocabulary! (Okay I was watching a lot of Harry Potter this weekend). I challenge any of you reading this to do the same!!
Life is NOT practice!!
S.
Why do these tiny little words roll off our tongue so easily? Why are we so quick to throw those words out? Sometimes I catch myself saying it when I'm doing a difficult workout, or just trying to manage all I have to do in a day! Yet, I realize that they are words that truly demotivate each of us. We begin to doubt ourselves and believe in those words. If you allow them, they actually start to become an immediate reaction to events. I have never thought of myself as someone that is willing and ready to quit easily but yet I do! Everytime I tell myself "I can't" I'm giving up!! I'm giving up on myself and allowing fear to step into the picture.
YES I CAN!! We all can!! Sure maybe we won't be perfect or maybe we have to adjust our strategy a little but we can do anything we put our minds too. That's the amazing thing - that sponging stuff that resides inside our head is amazingly powerful. More powerful than we give our self credit for. However, we control it! Whether we think positive or negative about ourselves or the activity we are performing is all up to us! It's not easy, I'm not going to sit here and say any of this is - I struggle every single day but then I remember why I'm here writing this blog! I'm not alone in this feeling and I know I want to change!!
I am going to challenge myself to stop those 2 powerful words....I banish "I can't" from my vocabulary! (Okay I was watching a lot of Harry Potter this weekend). I challenge any of you reading this to do the same!!
Life is NOT practice!!
S.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
One foot in front of the other.....
Success is never overnight. It doesn't land on your door step one day and say "HI I'M HERE". Success comes from hard work, dedication and the strong desire to believe. I heard something once on NPR about how none of us are really born with a natural talent, but rather we have the passion and this burning desire to keep trying even when we are knocked down. I think they commented that you have to do something 10,000 times to get great at it! You have to pick yourself up a lot to get there. Yet, each time you do you learn - you grow - you struggle but those that achieve it learn more and more about themselves.
One of the questions that I need to ask myself is whether or not I'm living the life I desire? Another difficult question because it forces you to take a brutal look at yourself and your surroundings. YES - I have an amazing, wonderful life - I have a husband that loves me, beautiful children (who sometimes make me crazy but that's okay), a good job, a nice house, so what's missing?
I mentioned this in the last entry that I have this feeling inside of me that there is something missing - I just can't put my finger on it! In the past year, I've taken a harder look at myself and found some habits that I was creating to try to fill that void. I'm ashamed a little to say this, however I know that I'm not alone. I thought that if I spent money on make-up, clothes, bags, facials, this or that I would be complete. We live in such a materialistic world today and I got sucked into that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up my facials or my occasional manicure, but these are just that...THINGS! They do not make me whole, they do not complete me - I am the only one that can do that!
Each of us have to find in ourselves the things that truly fill us up, the things that complete us. It's not easy, I'll admit that. I know I personally struggle with this on a daily basis. Trying to find the balance for what makes me happy and what I think will make others happy. Yet, I sit here and I realize that I waste so much time worrying about what others are thinking. This blog for example is a huge stretch goal for me. It's hard for me to post very honest things about myself and share them with you because what are you thinking of me? I cannot control that and honestly I shouldn't care. If you don't like me or what I have to say, I know you won't keep reading!
So, I just need to keep searching, reaching and believing. It will all fall into place I have a huge amount of faith in that...and I know that there are lot of people reading this right now that back me!!
It's all going to fall into place!!
S.
One of the questions that I need to ask myself is whether or not I'm living the life I desire? Another difficult question because it forces you to take a brutal look at yourself and your surroundings. YES - I have an amazing, wonderful life - I have a husband that loves me, beautiful children (who sometimes make me crazy but that's okay), a good job, a nice house, so what's missing?
I mentioned this in the last entry that I have this feeling inside of me that there is something missing - I just can't put my finger on it! In the past year, I've taken a harder look at myself and found some habits that I was creating to try to fill that void. I'm ashamed a little to say this, however I know that I'm not alone. I thought that if I spent money on make-up, clothes, bags, facials, this or that I would be complete. We live in such a materialistic world today and I got sucked into that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up my facials or my occasional manicure, but these are just that...THINGS! They do not make me whole, they do not complete me - I am the only one that can do that!
Each of us have to find in ourselves the things that truly fill us up, the things that complete us. It's not easy, I'll admit that. I know I personally struggle with this on a daily basis. Trying to find the balance for what makes me happy and what I think will make others happy. Yet, I sit here and I realize that I waste so much time worrying about what others are thinking. This blog for example is a huge stretch goal for me. It's hard for me to post very honest things about myself and share them with you because what are you thinking of me? I cannot control that and honestly I shouldn't care. If you don't like me or what I have to say, I know you won't keep reading!
So, I just need to keep searching, reaching and believing. It will all fall into place I have a huge amount of faith in that...and I know that there are lot of people reading this right now that back me!!
It's all going to fall into place!!
S.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
"Life is NOT Practice"
I am an avid reader, actually let me restate that I am an avid learner, therefore I read a lot. I don't always start at the beginning of books and read the entire thing but more or less try to gather information. I feel as though I am someone that wants to know a little bit about everything. One of my recent reads has been a book by Tosca Reno called Your Best Body Now. I've read most of her books and try to follow her Clean Eating habits - but this book had a section in it that really caught my eye and where I want to focus my next few blog posts on.
The chapter is called "Best Body Now Inspiration" and the first sentence says this, "Retraining your brain to think positive, empowering thoughts guaranteeing Best Body Now success may be a challenging process, particularly for those of you who are caregivers and unaccustomed to putting yourself first" Well WOW did she nail me on the head!!
It goes on to talk about taking an honest look at your life - with a series of questions to answer. These questions are designed to get you to start thinking about who you really are. So here goes!!!
How happy and content are you with your life?
Well that's a tough first question to answer out the gate! Am I happy - yes, I do believe I am. But, if I peel apart the layers to that question and dig even a bit further I find that my happiness is a direct reflection on if I make other people happy. I am a people pleaser to no end - I never expect anything out of anyone else, but I simply love to make people smile, or brighten a day. It is never anything big - maybe a card in the mail, making their favorite dinner, giving inspiration for no reason, calling them just to say hi, sending them their favorite treat - anything. I feel I am someone that has a good sense on peoples emotions and how they are doing. This is great but, I'm learning that I don't always take care of myself, or when I do I am riddled with guilt. Guilt is a terrible wasted emotion.
I feel I can do more in my life - there is this nagging feeling that I have that tells me I'm destined to do more with my life. I want to help but where? Who? How? I want to learn everything, and be perfect! WAIT - that's it...I'm constantly searching for perfection. How do I let that go - nobody is perfect and when do you realize that? I struggle with this constantly - I look in the mirror and I tend to notice faults rather than all that is so beautiful!
What's ironic about this all is that I'm the one always telling others how the outer shell is just that, the person you are on the inside is what matters. Nobody is perfect but you can only be the best you each and every day. When will I listen to my own advice? Additionally, I've traveled to places in the world like India, and Colombia where people have so much less but yet their lives are so fulfilled. I remember seeing people in India with no homes, living on the street with a simple tarp over their heads - guess what they had smiles on their faces!! We can learn so much from other people and their lives.
GOAL: Okay enough is enough! I'm 35, I'm clearly not getting any younger. I'm taking a stand right now! Each day I will spend time in the mirror looking at myself but shutting out the critical negative thinking - I must learn to rerecord the negative tape that plays in my head. So what if I'm not a super model or weigh 135 pounds - I am the best Sharon that I can be and getting better each and every day. My looks, this body do not define me, nor will I allow them to keep me prisoner any longer!
Life is NOT practice - we do not get a chance to "do over". Each day should be cherished and lived to it's fullest potential. I think this will be my new mantra!!
Be the best you!!
S.
The chapter is called "Best Body Now Inspiration" and the first sentence says this, "Retraining your brain to think positive, empowering thoughts guaranteeing Best Body Now success may be a challenging process, particularly for those of you who are caregivers and unaccustomed to putting yourself first" Well WOW did she nail me on the head!!
It goes on to talk about taking an honest look at your life - with a series of questions to answer. These questions are designed to get you to start thinking about who you really are. So here goes!!!
How happy and content are you with your life?
Well that's a tough first question to answer out the gate! Am I happy - yes, I do believe I am. But, if I peel apart the layers to that question and dig even a bit further I find that my happiness is a direct reflection on if I make other people happy. I am a people pleaser to no end - I never expect anything out of anyone else, but I simply love to make people smile, or brighten a day. It is never anything big - maybe a card in the mail, making their favorite dinner, giving inspiration for no reason, calling them just to say hi, sending them their favorite treat - anything. I feel I am someone that has a good sense on peoples emotions and how they are doing. This is great but, I'm learning that I don't always take care of myself, or when I do I am riddled with guilt. Guilt is a terrible wasted emotion.
I feel I can do more in my life - there is this nagging feeling that I have that tells me I'm destined to do more with my life. I want to help but where? Who? How? I want to learn everything, and be perfect! WAIT - that's it...I'm constantly searching for perfection. How do I let that go - nobody is perfect and when do you realize that? I struggle with this constantly - I look in the mirror and I tend to notice faults rather than all that is so beautiful!
What's ironic about this all is that I'm the one always telling others how the outer shell is just that, the person you are on the inside is what matters. Nobody is perfect but you can only be the best you each and every day. When will I listen to my own advice? Additionally, I've traveled to places in the world like India, and Colombia where people have so much less but yet their lives are so fulfilled. I remember seeing people in India with no homes, living on the street with a simple tarp over their heads - guess what they had smiles on their faces!! We can learn so much from other people and their lives.
GOAL: Okay enough is enough! I'm 35, I'm clearly not getting any younger. I'm taking a stand right now! Each day I will spend time in the mirror looking at myself but shutting out the critical negative thinking - I must learn to rerecord the negative tape that plays in my head. So what if I'm not a super model or weigh 135 pounds - I am the best Sharon that I can be and getting better each and every day. My looks, this body do not define me, nor will I allow them to keep me prisoner any longer!
Life is NOT practice - we do not get a chance to "do over". Each day should be cherished and lived to it's fullest potential. I think this will be my new mantra!!
Be the best you!!
S.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The road to success is not always paved.....
I know I read that quote somewhere ....I'm going to finish that quote by saying that the road to success is not always paved, but who wants to follow the easy path? Sometimes the journey is more important then reaching a goal.
I've started this blog for myself as a place to document my journey to believing in myself and my own self worth! I will no longer accept the truths I have made up in my head that I am not worth it, hopeless or undeserving!!! I will never allow those negatives beliefs to cross my lips!!
So many women today look in the mirror everyday and dislike what they see - why? Because we believe what society sets in front of us as beautiful, talented, worthwhile and successful. I believe that all of us are put on this earth for a reason. I also believe that I am meant to do greater things in life - I just haven't discovered them yet...but first my path begins with erasing 35 years of negative talk!
When we are born, we do not know to think poorly of ourselves, somewhere along the path we learn this. It's not going to be easy to erase, but I will make every effort because I no longer want to live a trapped life fueled by my own negative beliefs in myself!!
To my future!!
S.
I've started this blog for myself as a place to document my journey to believing in myself and my own self worth! I will no longer accept the truths I have made up in my head that I am not worth it, hopeless or undeserving!!! I will never allow those negatives beliefs to cross my lips!!
So many women today look in the mirror everyday and dislike what they see - why? Because we believe what society sets in front of us as beautiful, talented, worthwhile and successful. I believe that all of us are put on this earth for a reason. I also believe that I am meant to do greater things in life - I just haven't discovered them yet...but first my path begins with erasing 35 years of negative talk!
When we are born, we do not know to think poorly of ourselves, somewhere along the path we learn this. It's not going to be easy to erase, but I will make every effort because I no longer want to live a trapped life fueled by my own negative beliefs in myself!!
To my future!!
S.
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