I think fear is something we all have - whether you fear jumping out of an airplane, or you fear spiders, or for me I just fear failure in so many shapes and forms. Either way - no matter what your fear is it can be emotionally, and physically draining as well as an overall hinderance in your life.
How many times do you just get stuck because you are afraid to move forward into that unknown? I know I am constantly stuck and in the end I either find a way around it or I push through. I've done that with most things in my life - fear of failing at a new role, fear of not being good with new software, fear of failing as a friend, mother, wife etc. However there is one area that as usual I never push through and that's this fear I have of myself and all the greatness that I know I can possess. Now, I by no means want to sound egotistical because if anyone reading this knows me that's the polar opposite of me. I typed up an email to a good friend of mine the other day and in it I was complaining about some things, feeling down and being hard on myself and she replied with this:
"You have this ONE
life and you should be your own best fan (I'm a fan of you too!). Give your
self permission to LOVE who you are now and you will start to morph into the
person you feel you ideally want to be.
You have the right to LOVE yourself, to accomplish whatever
you DESIRE. You have the right to live happy and healthy..and to cut out the people
and things that inhibit any of that."
Gosh for some reason that just makes a ton of sense to me. I've written about this before but I treat my friends and family so well - I love to love people and give and give but I am not my own best friend. I need to start being that way. Forget if someone might be mad at me, or if because I'm wearing a size 14 right now someone might think I'm fat or "boy she hasn't lost the baby weight yet" WHO CARES!!!!
We are only given so many days on this earth and only the man above knows when it's our time, but I really do want to live my life! Live it for my beautiful children and be the role model that they deserve. Not everyone has to like me, or like what I do, I only need to answer to Him and myself in all reality. My life is not that bad, in fact its' GREAT and I want to start acting like that! So, I'm really going to try to push past my own silly fears and be the best friend that I deserve!
