Bucket List

Do you have a list a mile long of things you want to do, want to accomplish, want to see in your life? Does it seem like that list is constantly getting longer but nothing comes off of it? Maybe it's just me, but man that's exactly how I feel. I have all these things in my mind that I want to do and see and experience but they keep getting pushed to the back of the pile because, well frankly, laundry and cooking dinner take precidence.

I was talking to a good friend this morning and she reminded me about this passion I  have or want to have, for photography - its just hidden because I don't really know how to use my fancy camera! I have books on how to use it, and websites that I've bookmarked to learn but there just isn't enough time in a day to really focus on it. And for me, well let's just say that I don't do things unless I can do them "perfect" (I'll blog about that someday and how I really need to learn to overcome that).

I want to become an expert on Photoshop, learn to use tools at work more efficiently, become a better eLearning designer, learn to sew, scrapebook my wedding albums and baby books for the girls. I want to pick up the Rosetta Stone CD's I have and really learn the Spanish that I've been trying to learn for 10+ years. I want to get to a point in my fitness level where I could teach a class, or help someone else get in better shape. I want to learn more about clean eating and nutrition and what goes into our foods and bodies. That's just the start of the list....exhausting isn't it?

Do you see a pattern here? I have all these things that I want to do and at times that in and of itself overwhelmes me....where do I start? You know what.....you don't!! HUH? That seems a little strange to say but it's true. My dear and very wise friend said to me, and I quote..."Babysteps with everything. Stop thinking you should be and be happy with what you are doing"

Ding Ding Ding....big lighbulb went off in my head!! I'm so wrapped up in all these things I want to do as well as all the things I have to do in a day (job, dinner, etc) that I become physically paralized. I've gotten myself so locked into a corner of all these "should be" things that I cannot even enjoy the moments that are right in front of me. Life really is a journey, it's a marathon not a sprint and along the way we have to all stop and enjoy the sites and sounds and just be happy with where we are!! I have a beautiful family and I know I am truly blessed - that is, at the end of the day, what is truly important!!

Now...where did I put that book on being happy.....

Until next time!!

Update....

Well it's been a long time since my last post and I was recently encouraged to pick this up again - I'm thankful for that encouragement because I do really need the outlet. There is way too much rolling around in this head of mine and let me tell you that's dangerous! I've always been a big journaler and thought thinker....but often times all this stuff was stuck in my own head and I need to get it down on paper!

So let's see...can I catch you up to speed?? In the past 6 months I've....

•  had a beautiful baby girl in June - Gabriella Rose!
• gotten little to no sleep - while I listen to my husband snore or complain that he's tired...Dios Mio!
• cried over the smallest things.....yelled over the big things
• thought I was losing my mind (the jury is still out on this one)

There is a reason why we forget how hard the first year is after you have a baby....because if you remembered you would never do it again!!! I've gone days without showers, questioned if I brushed my teeth or my hair somedays and wondered if I would ever feel normal again. I think I have a new defintion of "normal" thesse days. Now I'm just happy if I've had 2 meals and I have matching socks on!

No but seriously it's so worth it! I love my little family (not my husbands snoring let me go on record as saying that) - they make my life what it is. Yea my house isn't as clean as it used to me, I have bags under my eyes that no amount of make up can cover and none of my clothes fit yet - but it will all fall back into place! (It will right?)